40 Hours of Pandora in 27 Days.

Mmmmm so life seems incredibly in transition to me right now. Things have seemed so ... set in stone for the next few years up to this point. I know exactly what classes I will be taking from now until graduation, and the Lord is defining new aspects of my calling everyday. But still, life feels incredibly unstructured.

The Present? The next few months consist of things wrapping up. This semester will be over soon. Regular Wednesday night Ignite is coming to a close. Ministry stuff is starting to lull until June-ish. It feels like everything that has provided structure to my life is about to end. The freedom of summer gets closer everyday. I can't wait to have the time to be spontaneous - it seems like a lot of my time comes in measured packages right now. I love what God is doing in my life. I'm finally starting to discover His incredible compassion and grace for my generation. I've been giving a lot of that over to Holy Spirit lately, and I'm starting to feel lighter about it now. That's totally reassuring because Matthew 11:30 does say that His burden is easy and light. I have so much passion that I get in the way of what God is doing through me sometimes. I've finally realized that surrendering is the only way that I can see Him working in all His glory in the situations around me. The days are flying by at light speed. It's totally cliche, but time does fly when you're having fun.

Summer? Yeah, about that, I still don't know what I'm doing. I think that I will be sticking around in June, but July is totally a wash. I have the opportunity to do Project Timothy again - I've been praying about it, and I know that, if I did choose to do it, I would probably be going to Ecuador as an assistant leader on a team. I have to apply by April 15th, so I better decide pretty soon. I'm extensively indecisive. It's ridiculous. My decision varies from one hour to the next. I know that I'll still be interning with Chris O. over the summer, but I still don't know yet what that will look like. If he decides to expect more of me, then I'll probably stay much closer to home. Everything about that is still kind of vague at this point. I've also given some thought to doing summer staff at a Young Life camp. I would love to just love on and impact students for a month straight. I also can't forget how crazy I was about doing a summer internship with DOOR ministries 6 months ago, either. So many possibilities. I seriously need to choose something soon.

Relationships? I seriously love my friends so much. I love eating salad and processing kairoses at Chili's with Madi. I love the wacky sleepovers we have and our nerf gun wars. I love watching stupid videos on Youtube with my best girls. I love randomly quoting Ever After. I love the fact that I can see them almost everyday of the week and not get sick of them. I love them for their J-ness ... lol sometimes. I also love all the new friends I'm making. It seems that I came home from Plunge with like 23 new friends. I'm just so encouraged by the way that God is moving in people my age. For a while, the only people I spent time with were the people that were investing in me, and the students that I invest in on a weekly basis. It's just good to have that balance that I have when I hang out with my peers. I'm falling in love with Young Life all over again. For a while, I wrote it off as that immature thing I used to do. I was so into my role as a leader of "stuff" that I didn't realize how much I needed to have a place to just cut loose and be 20. So, anyways, I'm going to start making Young Life more of a priority. I'm having so much fun in life right now, and I never want it to stop.

And ... boys ... So, for a while, I just didn't have the desire to date. God made it so clear to me that I was supposed to be pursuing Him with everything I had. And I have been - He has radically transformed my heart, given me calling, lavished me with supernatural confidence, and provided me with awesome best friends. This call not to date was inevitably made easier by the fact that none of the guys in my life seemed mature enough, or remotely appealing to me. Well, now that is starting to change. It's not like I'm falling for any guy in particular, but I've just been noticing the flawless work of the Lord in the guys around me. There are instances where I start to think that maybe, just maybe, I should be pursuing a relationship. But, then again, God hasn't clearly told me that I should be dating right now. I love the testimonies of people like Chris and Kelsi, who clearly sought the Lord's will in their relationship from the beginning. I like to think that their testimony of love and fulfilling marriage is the Spirit of prophecy for me. Right now, I'm just trying to stay on track with God. I have this theory that, if I remain true to the person He has created me to be, and sprint towards Him with everything in me, He will point me towards a man who's better than the dashing princes of my dreams. I'll let you know how that works out, K?

Anyways, I'm hanging out with toddlers in the nursery early in the morning tomorrow, so goodnight, lovely people :]

Urban Plunge 2010

I just got back from a 4 day plunge into inner city Phoenix. I return hopeful for my generation, thoughtful, and full of passion.

The Urban Plunge involved college students from Young Life, CCC, Northwest Community Church, Palm Croft, and Pure Heart. Together, we functioned as the Body of Christ, resisting the temptation to segregate ourselves and taking the opportunity to listen to God's call to us. Together, we removed a covering of weeds to reveal playgrounds and backyards. Together, we painted walls and hopscotch courts. Together, we loved on the kids and families in the Herrera Elementary School community. Together, we planted a healing garden and created a mosaic involving the kids' artwork. Together, we laughed, sang, and danced. Together, we worshiped.

I've been on a lot of other mission trips before, but none that involved this many people from this many places. As I was taking a final look at our mosaic, I realized that the big picture wasn't what made it beautiful - it was all of the broken pieces of pottery. It was in that moment that I realized that the Body of Christ is like a mosaic, intentionally laid out and intricately planned to bring beauty and meaning to the world. We are broken and incomplete when we function out of our own limited authority, however, the Master Artist wants to place us in community with one another and give us the power to function on His behalf.

We studied a chapter from the book of Jonah each day of the Plunge. This was the first time I studied this story outside of a sunday school classroom - I never realized how raw and real this book of the Bible is. Jonah received a powerful call to invest in the Kingdom of God, and even though he tried to ignore it, God refused to give up. In His eyes, there was no one better suited for the job than Jonah. As Christians, God has issued us this same call. Isaiah 61 says:

^1-7 The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor,
heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives,
pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies—
and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.
Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness"
planted by God to display his glory.
They'll rebuild the old ruins,
raise a new city out of the wreckage.

God calls us to function out of the freedom that He has brought us and to pull others out of the wreckage of spiritual, relational, and physical poverty. As former captives to our own selfishness, it is our duty, our CALL from God because the Spirit of the Lord is upon us. There is no one better for the job of living out the Gospel than us.

This experience was amazing for me because it affirmed my call to ministry. The Urban Plunge environment just felt so natural and refreshing to me. As someone called to this, the Lord even gave me opportunities to encourage others to explore their callings in life. I continue to be blown away by this incredible God we serve. I refuse to wait on my world to change, and I will continue to press in for the others of my generation in prayer so that they, too, will experience the power and abundance of serving others in Jesus' name.

Four Little Letters

I'm sitting here finding it difficult to do something right now, so I might as well blog :]

http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html Idealist. I've been so busy that I've had to live my life like a J lately, and that's been really hard. I can't wait to live like a P again. Okay, that's enough Myers-Briggs for now.

My life has been so crazy lately. It feels really good now that I'm starting to get back to semi-normal life. School. Work. Internship. Friends. That, I can handle.

I'm so stoked for Urban Plunge next weekend. There is nothing right now that could be closer to my heart. I'm so excited to be on leadership for this. I've just got to get through this week and and the wedding on Saturday.

I've been having a lot of Kairos moments lately - circular moments when it just feels like time stands still. I've processed some of them in my huddle, but I really just need introvert time. Maybe that's what I'm missing.

A lot of these Kairos moments revolve around:

-Jr. High students

-Callouses on my fingers from playing guitar

-Holy Spirit moments at Open Heaven

-Leading worship with Chris and Kelsi Jo Ozorio

-God's heart for the poor

-Sunday nights at Pure Heart

-Wild at Heart by John Eldredge

-Pandora radio

-Urban Plunge leaders meetings

-Toddy+half & half + chocolate and caramel sauce

-My spazzy laptop

-Self-sufficiency

-Fletcher Library

-New relationships

Hmmmm this is definitely a time of intense growth. I kind of love it.