The Present? The next few months consist of things wrapping up. This semester will be over soon. Regular Wednesday night Ignite is coming to a close. Ministry stuff is starting to lull until June-ish. It feels like everything that has provided structure to my life is about to end. The freedom of summer gets closer everyday. I can't wait to have the time to be spontaneous - it seems like a lot of my time comes in measured packages right now. I love what God is doing in my life. I'm finally starting to discover His incredible compassion and grace for my generation. I've been giving a lot of that over to Holy Spirit lately, and I'm starting to feel lighter about it now. That's totally reassuring because Matthew 11:30 does say that His burden is easy and light. I have so much passion that I get in the way of what God is doing through me sometimes. I've finally realized that surrendering is the only way that I can see Him working in all His glory in the situations around me. The days are flying by at light speed. It's totally cliche, but time does fly when you're having fun.
Summer? Yeah, about that, I still don't know what I'm doing. I think that I will be sticking around in June, but July is totally a wash. I have the opportunity to do Project Timothy again - I've been praying about it, and I know that, if I did choose to do it, I would probably be going to Ecuador as an assistant leader on a team. I have to apply by April 15th, so I better decide pretty soon. I'm extensively indecisive. It's ridiculous. My decision varies from one hour to the next. I know that I'll still be interning with Chris O. over the summer, but I still don't know yet what that will look like. If he decides to expect more of me, then I'll probably stay much closer to home. Everything about that is still kind of vague at this point. I've also given some thought to doing summer staff at a Young Life camp. I would love to just love on and impact students for a month straight. I also can't forget how crazy I was about doing a summer internship with DOOR ministries 6 months ago, either. So many possibilities. I seriously need to choose something soon.
Relationships? I seriously love my friends so much. I love eating salad and processing kairoses at Chili's with Madi. I love the wacky sleepovers we have and our nerf gun wars. I love watching stupid videos on Youtube with my best girls. I love randomly quoting Ever After. I love the fact that I can see them almost everyday of the week and not get sick of them. I love them for their J-ness ... lol sometimes. I also love all the new friends I'm making. It seems that I came home from Plunge with like 23 new friends. I'm just so encouraged by the way that God is moving in people my age. For a while, the only people I spent time with were the people that were investing in me, and the students that I invest in on a weekly basis. It's just good to have that balance that I have when I hang out with my peers. I'm falling in love with Young Life all over again. For a while, I wrote it off as that immature thing I used to do. I was so into my role as a leader of "stuff" that I didn't realize how much I needed to have a place to just cut loose and be 20. So, anyways, I'm going to start making Young Life more of a priority. I'm having so much fun in life right now, and I never want it to stop.
And ... boys ... So, for a while, I just didn't have the desire to date. God made it so clear to me that I was supposed to be pursuing Him with everything I had. And I have been - He has radically transformed my heart, given me calling, lavished me with supernatural confidence, and provided me with awesome best friends. This call not to date was inevitably made easier by the fact that none of the guys in my life seemed mature enough, or remotely appealing to me. Well, now that is starting to change. It's not like I'm falling for any guy in particular, but I've just been noticing the flawless work of the Lord in the guys around me. There are instances where I start to think that maybe, just maybe, I should be pursuing a relationship. But, then again, God hasn't clearly told me that I should be dating right now. I love the testimonies of people like Chris and Kelsi, who clearly sought the Lord's will in their relationship from the beginning. I like to think that their testimony of love and fulfilling marriage is the Spirit of prophecy for me. Right now, I'm just trying to stay on track with God. I have this theory that, if I remain true to the person He has created me to be, and sprint towards Him with everything in me, He will point me towards a man who's better than the dashing princes of my dreams. I'll let you know how that works out, K?
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