Hills and Valleys

So I feel pretty ecstatic right now, which is awesome because last week felt like an uphill battle. What really gives me goosebumps is that I feel like I'm living Psalm 126:5. The way that my life has been playing out over the last few weeks has definitely been a life sized version of sowing tears and reaping joy.

Last week was so hard - I received news that left me feeling defeated and worthless, let jealousy and insecurities threaten a friendship, and struggled to make healthy decisions. All things said, I was taking a casual stroll through the valley, limited by earthly vision and human goals. It felt like I was trying to climb a hill where I could see more clearly, but really I was allowing myself to pace at the bottom of it. The first part of Psalm 126:5 talks about sowing tears. Did I sow tears? Yes! A lot of tears, actually.

I also felt unexpectedly creative last week. I've been playing piano a lot more, and that's been cool, but I wanted to explore some new terrain, so I sketched a design, bought some paints and brushes, and just basically started painting. It was kind of soothing in a way, because it was a way that I could express myself. What I ended up with is the picture above. Knowing the basic idea that God can take the bad and turn it into good, I set out to find a verse based on the idea of tears. And then I found Psalm 126:5. I was so elated. This was God's message to me in the midst of all this yucky stuff. Okay, now to the joy part.

I've discovered supernatural joy, that God is willing to gift us happiness in situations where the world demands our depression and angst. Because I was able to share in God's joy for others, I felt so fulfilled and happy doing student ministries at my church. I felt like I was in the right place. At the right time. And with the right people. Holy Spirit is so good! Everything in my life right now just feels so... right. I am seeing instances of His faithfulness all over the place. He has definitely opened up my eyes when it comes to certain situations. God gives me so much that I haven't even asked for, and I don't even deserve any of it. It's all Him. Right now is definitely a hill time in the context of the last couple of weeks. Everything is really intense right now, but I think all that stuff will slow down soon. It's amazing how He orchestrates things. So, have I reaped joy? Yes! Supernatural joy.

⁵ Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy. - Psalm 126:5