4 Shades of Red

It's like I hardly recognize this girl in the picture to the left.

Who was that girl? A year ago, I was still searching for my identity. I had just started entering into a heartfelt and sincere relationship with Jesus three months prior. In a way, I was much like a toddler, taking little steps, clinging to anything that seemed the least bit stable. In this same way, my friendships lacked depth and vulnerability. Sure I had some good friends, but we were rarely focused on leading each other to Jesus and staying accountable to God's best. I remember feeling so afraid to take risks - I didn't know what God wanted to do through me yet. I spent so much time being jealous of other peoples' gifts that I ignored the authority that God wanted to give me to impact others' lives.

I cannot help but realize how much difference a year makes. My hair has been four different shades of red since then, I've driven two different cars, I've left my teenage years, I've changed jobs, I've grown in my capacity to love, etc. It's totally crazy to think that I hadn't even met or become friends with some of the people who know me the best now. Everything is tremendously changed.

...And then there's the girl on the right.

This past year has been a time of intense, deep, and gentle growth in my heart. It's amazing how much we can grow when we invest time into going up with our relationship with God, in with our community, and out into the world to proclaim the Gospel with our lives. I've been intentionally sowing into these three areas this past year, and I just feel like my life is starting to produce fruit. I never realized how crucial all of this was - I always thought that other things would make me happy. These things consisted of finding a boyfriend, moving out, finding a better paying job, etc. None of these things have happened to me this year, and I have never been more joyful and excited to live my life.

Up: God continues to increase the depth of our relationship each day. He continues to surprise me with new dreams and deep love; I find myself hungry for quality time with Him. Every time I surrender a part of my life over to Him, I get so much more of His grace, love, and power. I'm so excited for this next year of my life because I know that I am going to experience more of this and more of Him. There is so much more growth to experience on this journey.

In: God has really blessed me with an incredible community; I think that this is probably the biggest area of growth for me.

I've really been gaining perspective on the idea of church. I get to be a part of three vastly different communities on a weekly basis. Open Heaven is a house church I go to on Saturday nights. It's not uncommon for the Holy Spirit to do rad stuff there; it really boosts my faith every time I hear testimony of what God is doing. I'm probably most involved at CCC, which is where I truly experience the family of God. I love worshiping Jesus with people of all different ages and backgrounds. And I love investing in the Jr. High kids there. And then there's The Exchange at Pure Heart, which is all young adults. This is where I just get to have fun with amazing friends and get fed during worship. I view all three of these as my church, and I'm so thankful for the community that I have in all of them.

I have the privilege of regularly being mentored and challenged by Chris and Kelsi. I meet with Chris on a weekly basis as a part of my internship with him. I'm so thankful that I have this opportunity - he is so supportive of my dreams and so willing to help me make them happen. I also get to be in Kelsi's huddle, where I am learning so much about the Holy Spirit, healing, and spiritual authority. I love doing life with this group of women; I gain more clarity on life with every Kairos I process. I also belong to an amazing small group where we are learning to wait on the Lord for His best. I seriously love all of this so much.

I have these incredible friends named Brittney and Madi that point me to Jesus. We are seriously the silliest girls you will ever meet. I have so many fun memories with them, and I love that we can have crazy deep philosophical conversations on a regular basis. My favorite thing about them is that we are on this intense journey of knowing Jesus together. The way that we keep each other accountable to God's best is so encouraging. I've never known friends who understand life so well. I'm also grateful that I've been meeting so many other friends in the past few months, and I hope that I still know all these people for the rest of my life. I feel like I have so many opportunities to do amazing things because of my them - hikes, luaus, volleyball, upcoming road trips. Ahhh so good.

I'm also really excited to say that there are a lot of really great guys in my life. I'm learning so much about being faithful and being a friend and a sister to the men around me. I seriously can't tell you how much I love it when guys honor me by walking me to my car, getting to know what's important to me, or just asking me about my day. I know that God has a lot to teach me about honoring them as a friend and a sister, and someday as a wife to my husband.

And last but not least, I love my family. I didn't realize how different college would make my life, even though I still lived at home. My mom and dad have been so supportive of everything that God has called me into over this past year. We don't see each other all that often, but we take time each Sunday afternoon to eat lunch together and catch up on all the things happening in our lives. I'm so thankful for them.

Out: I feel like this area of my life is the most recent one to bear fruit. Yeah, I've been a Jr. High leader for the past couple of years, but I feel like God is challenging me to do so much more. It has only been over the past few months that I've felt comfortable sharing what the Lord is doing in me and praying for people. I felt so inspired last night when some of my friends were talking about sharing the Gospel on Mill Ave. I think that this is a probable next chapter in this journey I'm on. I'm becoming incredibly passionate about people experiencing the power of Jesus, and hungry for revival. If anything, I want the Holy Spirit to work through me in every interaction, leaving people hungry for more of Him.

I'm so stoked for the next chapter of my Louder Than Words, too. I'm starting to work on events for the upcoming months, and am feeling so fulfilled. I'm learning so much of this as I go, and I feel really stretched by it sometimes; however, I know that God has me doing this right now, even if it is sometimes hard. This is the area I want to grow in most in the next year - I want to see people healed, made whole, and rejoicing because of Jesus.

Developing my out had become a very real next step because I've grown so much in my relationship with God (Up) and my relationships with people (In). I'm so excited to see what the next four shades of red will look like.