Things That Make Me Smile

Jesus

Abiding

Books by Donald Miller

Latte Art

The Color Yellow

Picnics

Trees

Friendship

Ice Cream

Painting

Journaling

Ever After

It's Okay to Ask for Stuff

My window's open. I'm listening to The Swell Season. I smell like espresso. Life is good.

I must confess that this season of life is a bit odd. I'm finally at the point in my relationship with God where His work in me is beginning to show. It's kind of a vulnerable place to be because there are so many times when I sense that Holy Spirit is asking me to hold back. Most of me wants to just tell everyone how God has rocked me over the past year, but I am learning to surrender to Him for opportunities to give people some of our fruit when they are ready to hear it. A few weeks ago, I didn't understand why, but I've learned that he wants me to be faithful with everything He has given me, including my testimony. This means that I need to make time to just be with Him more than ever. In accordance with John 15, the only way I can produce more fruit is to abide in Him more.

I can't even tell you how much I've enjoyed time with God this week. He is so gentle, yet powerful. So sweet, yet so challenging. So big, yet so personal. I forgot how truly romantic He is.

This scene is so romantic because the most intimate, beautiful way Darcy could ever address Elizabeth is with his name; she is his. I find this so beautiful. It is so good to be reminded that I am His. He knows everything about me, and yet He still wants me. He doesn't even just want me, He pursues me.

My favorite thing about Him this week is that I got to ask for things! While spending time with Him, He told me how He wanted me to rely on Him and other people more, and that I really should get over myself and ask for things once in a while. If you know me well, you know that I have a really hard time with this because I'm so afraid of inconveniencing people. Holy Spirit prompted me to ask Him for something on Thursday morning, and by that night, He had provided for so many things in so many ways. It was totally unreal. After talking to my friend, Shellie about an experience she had with Him this week, I asked Him for a fun, spontaneous date. As I was getting ready to watch a movie at a friend's house on Friday night, He whispered to me that it was time. We had so much fun! We painted together and listened to the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack for three hours. It was so fun because He would give me little ideas for my painting, I would paint them, and then He would give me more - I have never felt so inspired and creative.

I love the ways that He calls me to be faithful with everything that I have - my time, my relationships, my fruit, my money, my thoughts, my body. I can't help but want to be faithful because He is so good! His faithfulness is reoccurring and duplicating all around me. It's like I'm Mrs. Darcy, but much more completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy.

Silhouettes Against a Gorgeous Valley

So, in the movie Pride and Prejudice, there is this scene where Elizabeth Bennet is standing at the top of this cliff. The camera pans out to reveal her silhouette against this gorgeous valley and the piano music surges and flourishes as she stands there and breathes in its beauty.

I was listening to the movie soundtrack on my way home from Colorado yesterday, and I realized that there are so many moments in my life where I feel like Eliza Bennet on top of that cliff. These are the moments when I discover that I am a small, yet significant silhouette on the horizon of God's beauty and greatness. This filled me with wonder as I cracked a huge smile and tears of gratitude and humility slid down my cheeks.

The last five days of my life have been packed with moments such as these. Though I feel like I've been to Colorado about a zillion times on trips to visit family, everything about this particular trip was so new and raw. It seems we went pretty much every where I had never gone before - Maroon Bells, Independence Pass, Aspen, Salida, Noah's Ark. These are all places I couldn't have possibly comprehended without experiencing them with every sense in my body. I found myself thinking that there couldn't be anything more beautiful. That's when I knew that I couldn't be more wrong. These experiences confirmed that there is so much more beauty to the world that I haven't experienced, which made me realize that there is so much more to God that I don't even know. It's more than incredible how God designed us to be enamored and overwhelmed by each tiny piece of ground revealed to us in our journey back to Eden.

I also happened to be reading this book called Searching for God Knows What. Donald Miller successfully blew my mind in a chapter called, Naked: Why Nudity is the Point. In it, he points out how huge and beautiful Eden must have been, and how we can't possibly compare its beauty to any other natural wonder. Beyond the landscape, he talked about how Adam and Eve lived in a constant state of vulnerability and trust before God; their lives were in perfect sync with God's desire for a tangible relationship with them. Can you imagine being so comfortable around someone that you were constantly naked around them? Their unabashed nakedness is the perfect symbol of their beautiful relationship with God. Reading this chapter made me intensely aware of my desire to be in Eden. The idea of a relationship with God so constant, unashamed, and free is the reason why Eden is so beautiful. It makes me so happy to know that Jesus died to reclaim that kind of beauty for me.

So, basically, all of these beautiful places in Colorado were reminders to me that there is so much more that I have yet to experience in life. They're breathtaking, but they pale in comparison to the physical beauty of Eden. In the same way, the silhouette moments of my life are only going to get better as I grow in my relationship with Jesus. That's so exciting because there is so much to the Holy Spirit that I have yet to know or experience. Knowing that God will always have more beauty for me to take in is intensely amazing.