I must confess that this season of life is a bit odd. I'm finally at the point in my relationship with God where His work in me is beginning to show. It's kind of a vulnerable place to be because there are so many times when I sense that Holy Spirit is asking me to hold back. Most of me wants to just tell everyone how God has rocked me over the past year, but I am learning to surrender to Him for opportunities to give people some of our fruit when they are ready to hear it. A few weeks ago, I didn't understand why, but I've learned that he wants me to be faithful with everything He has given me, including my testimony. This means that I need to make time to just be with Him more than ever. In accordance with John 15, the only way I can produce more fruit is to abide in Him more.
I can't even tell you how much I've enjoyed time with God this week. He is so gentle, yet powerful. So sweet, yet so challenging. So big, yet so personal. I forgot how truly romantic He is.
This scene is so romantic because the most intimate, beautiful way Darcy could ever address Elizabeth is with his name; she is his. I find this so beautiful. It is so good to be reminded that I am His. He knows everything about me, and yet He still wants me. He doesn't even just want me, He pursues me.
My favorite thing about Him this week is that I got to ask for things! While spending time with Him, He told me how He wanted me to rely on Him and other people more, and that I really should get over myself and ask for things once in a while. If you know me well, you know that I have a really hard time with this because I'm so afraid of inconveniencing people. Holy Spirit prompted me to ask Him for something on Thursday morning, and by that night, He had provided for so many things in so many ways. It was totally unreal. After talking to my friend, Shellie about an experience she had with Him this week, I asked Him for a fun, spontaneous date. As I was getting ready to watch a movie at a friend's house on Friday night, He whispered to me that it was time. We had so much fun! We painted together and listened to the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack for three hours. It was so fun because He would give me little ideas for my painting, I would paint them, and then He would give me more - I have never felt so inspired and creative.
I love the ways that He calls me to be faithful with everything that I have - my time, my relationships, my fruit, my money, my thoughts, my body. I can't help but want to be faithful because He is so good! His faithfulness is reoccurring and duplicating all around me. It's like I'm Mrs. Darcy, but much more completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy.
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