Outliers

I just finished Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers.  The main idea behind this book is that
stories of breakthrough and success fall into two categories: People who had opportunities presented to them because they were in the right place at the right time, and those whose current choices and behaviors are affected by their cultural identity.

For a long time, I tried to keep up with a status quo that I imagined went a little something like this: 'the more you fall in love with Jesus, the more you become a youthleaderworshipbandmemberministryleadernurseryvolunteerinternsmallgroupleaderwholivesatchurch.' I am certain that this status quo doesn't actually exist, it just became, in my mind, a heavy and elusive standard that I kept trying to reach.  Over the past few years, I've tried and tried to figure out where I fit, what I'm supposed to be doing, and who I'm supposed to be doing it with.  My strategy was to do a bunch of different things and invest my a little bit of myself in all of them so that I could 'keep up' with everyone else around me.  At one time, I actually was a Student Ministry intern who played in the worship band, led high school outreach ministry, led a high school life group, organized social justice events, helped in the nursery on Sunday mornings, hung out with a bunch of people from Young Life and Pure Heart, and had a key role in the Urban Plunge, in addition to going to school and working.  Sound like a lot?  It was!

Even though I was involved in so many great things, I never really felt satisfied - My heart still ached for my generation, I wanted deep friendships, I longed to see the kind of revival that starts in the kitchen (more on that, later), and I wanted to connect my church with the college campus across the street from it.  I kept trying and doing, and showing up.  I actually found that the more I tried and did and showed up, the less I felt like I was a part of something that answered my heart cry, and the less I felt like my life had meaning and purpose.  From there, I entered into a season of searching my heart for clues as to what was next.

One of the first things that came up when examining my heart was my own attitude and tendency to compare myself with others.  God helped me see that this was holding me back from what He had called me to.  I started to realize that comparing myself to others made me more bitter and more jealous, and, I believe, held me back from seeing how God has uniquely wired me to reach my generation.  Finding freedom from this also taught me that I didn't need to sign up for every single thing in order to keep up with every single person.  Learning how to say 'no' and not feel like I'm missing out or unworthy is probably one of the most valuable life lessons I've ever learned.

What I soon realized is that I am an apostle/ evangelist (Ephesians 4 - 5 fold ministry) and that this makes me, well, different from a lot of people.  I began to pray to see breakthrough.  I wanted God to use me to my fullest potential.  I desperately wanted to serve others with everything I was, not just bits and pieces that fit a particular ministry.

Around May last year, I had an incredible opportunity presented to me: Work for Young Life College. I accepted.  Since then, I have sacrificed and stretched to make this happen.  My life involves dinner in the dorms, deep coffee times, crazy clubs where college students hear the Gospel, and divine appointments with students at ASU West.

Recognition of how I am uniquely wired and the opportunities presented to me have started my journey to become an outlier, a story of success.  I am uniquely wired for kingdom purposes and I am serving in my sweet spot with Young Life.  I wouldn't say my life reeks of success or breakthrough right now, but I am definitely getting closer.