Sunday, April 11, 2010

Clarity isn't just a song by John Mayer

Mmmmm what a lovely day. I've felt so stirred up over the past few weeks over some pictures that the Lord has given me. Based on what God was showing me, I thought that He was possibly leading me into a relationship. The only thing was that I had no clue where to start, I just felt plagued by so much confusion and distraction. I know that every word from God is Life and Peace - the fact that I felt so crazed was total proof that I didn't fully understand what He was showing me. I began to process it in the context of my community, the people closest to me. While doing that, I realized that there there were parts of the picture that I couldn't interpret. I had been trying so hard to understand the big picture that I had neglected the details. INFP's like me tend to do things like that sometimes. :)

I desperately needed to process this dream with the One who had given it to me. I had the opportunity last night to go on a little date with God, and to seek His clarity in the details. He is the most faithful Love out there. Seriously, if you don't know, ask Him for anything and He'll provide. He so beautifully revealed the truth behind all those little things I couldn't understand about the picture - it was gentle and reassuring. Life and Peace. This next horizon of my life is near, and His Spirit has gone ahead to prepare a place for me there. He showed me that all I need to do is to see where the Holy Spirit is resting.

That part of me that was distracted and anxious before is so peaceful now. This is how it was meant to be. Sweet clarity.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Lovesick

I love this song because it captures how I feel after spending time with my Favorite this morning. Here are the lyrics:

love is serenading at my window
my faint heart cannot resist
i feel butterflies inside me
flying free just like the wind

your love drives me wild
makes me laugh just like a child
your love drives me wild
makes me laugh just like a child

my heart is feeling so alive
and all the stars are in my eyes
my breath is taken away
when i look at your sweet face

there's no sleep but lots of dreaming
busy mind thinks only of you
feeling hungry but not eating
what i crave is love from you

your love drives me wild
makes me laugh just like a child
your love drives me wild
makes me laugh just like a child

my heart is feeling so alive
and all the stars are in my eyes
my breath is taken away
when i look at your sweet face

to spend my life with you
i'd give anything, i'd give everything for you (2x)

my heart is feeling so alive
and all the stars are in my eyes
my breath is taken away
when i look at your sweet face

i only have eyes for you

A Daily Prayer for Freedom

I was rereading part of the book Captivating this morning, and feeling like a warrior princess, and I read this Prayer of Freedom, and just felt so victorious in my spirit. It goes like this:

My dear Lord Jesus, I come to you now to be restored in you--to renew my place in you, my allegiance to you, and to receive from you all the grace and mercy I so desperately need this day. I honor you as my sovereign Lord, and I surrender every aspect of my life totally and completely to you. I give you my body as a living sacrifice; I give you my heart, soul, mind, and strength; and I give you my spirit as well. I cover myself with your blood--my spirit, my soul, and my body. And I ask your Holy Spirit to restore my union with you, seal me in you, and guide me in this time of prayer.

Dear God, holy and victorious Trinity, you alone are worthy of all my worship, my heart's devotion, all my praise and all my trust and all the glory of my life. I worship you, bow to you, and give myself over to you in my heart's search for life. You alone are Life, and you have become my life. I renounce all other gods, all idols, and I give you the place in my heart and in my life that you truly deserve. I confess here and now that it is all about you, God, and not about me. You are the Hero of this story, and I belong to you. Forgive me for my every sin. Search me and know me and reveal to me any aspect of my life that is not pleasing to you, expose any agreements I have made with my Enemy, and grant me the grace of a deep and true repentance.

Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me and choosing me before you made the world. You are my true Father--my Creator, my Redeemer, my Sustainer and the true end of all things, including my life. I love you; I trust you; I worship you. Thank you for proving your love for me by sending your only son, Jesus, to be my sacrifice and my new life. I receive him and all his life and all his work, which you ordained for me. Thank you for including me in Christ, for forgiving my sins, for granting me his righteousness, for making me complete in him. Thank you for making me alive with Christ, raising me with him, seating me with him at your right hand, granting me his authority, and anointing me with your Holy Spirit. I receive it all with thanks and give it total claim to my life.

Jesus, thank you for coming for me, for ransoming me with your own life. I honor you as my Lord; I love you, worship you, trust you. I sincerely receive you as my redemption, and I receive all the work and triumph of your crucifixion, whereby I am cleansed from all my sin through your shed blood, my old nature is removed, my heart is circumscised unto God, and every claim being made against me is disarmed. I take my place in your cross and death, whereby I have died with you to sin and to my flesh, to the world, and to the Evil one. I am crucified with Christ. I now take up my cross and crucify my flesh with all its pride, unbelief, and idolatry. I put off the old man (woman). I now bring the cross of Christ between me and all people, all spirits, all things. Holy Spirit, apply to me the fullness of the work of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ for me. I receive it with thanks and give it total claim to my life.

Jesus, I also sincerely receive you as my new life, my holiness and sanctification, and I receive all the work and triumph of yor resurrection, whereby I have been raised with you to a new life, to walk in newness of life, dead to sin and alive to God. I am crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. I now take my place in your resurrection, whereby I have been made alive in you, I reign in life through you. I put on the new person in all holiness and humility, in all righteousness and purity and truth. Christ is now my life, the one who strengthens me. Holy Spirit, apply to me the fullness of the resurrection of Jesus Christ for me. I receive it with thanks and give it total claim to my life.

Jesus, I also sincerely receive you as my authority and rule, my everlasting victory over Satan and his kingdom, and I receive all the work and triumph of your ascension, whereby Satan has been judged and cast down, his rulers and authorities disarmed, all authority in heaven and on earth given to you, Jesus, and I have been given fullness in you, the Head over all. I take my place in your ascension, whereby I have been raised with you to the right hand of the Father and established with you in all authority.

I bring your authority and your kingdom rule over my life, my family, my household, and my domain. And now I bring the fullness of your work--your cross, resurrection, and ascension--against Satan, against his kingdom, and against all his emissaries and all their work warring against me and my domain. Greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world. Christ has given me authority to overcome all the power of the Evil one, and I claim that authority now over and against every enemy, and I banish them in the name of Jesus Christ. Holy Spirit, apply to me the fullness of the work of the ascension of Jesus Christ for me. I receive it with thanks and give it total claim to my life.

Holy Spirit, I sincerely receive you as my Counselor, my Comforter, my Strength, and my Guide. Thank you for sealing me in Christ. I honor you as Lord, and I ask to you lead me into all truth, to anoint me for all of my life and walk and calling, and to lead me deeper into Jesus today. I fully open my life to you in every dimension and aspect--my body, my soul, and my spirit--choosing to be filled with you, to walk in step with you in all things. Apply to me, blessed Holy Spirit, all of the work and all of the gifts in pentecost. Fill me afresh, blessed Holy Spirit. I receive you with thanks and give you total claim to my life.

Heavenly Father, thank you for granting me to every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus. I receive those blessings into my life today, and I ask the Holy Spirit to bring all those blessings into my life this day. Thank you for the blood of Jesus. Wash me once more with his blood from every sin and stain and evil device. I put on your armor--the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the readiness of the gospel of peace, the helmet of salvation. I take the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God. I choose to pray at all times in the Spirit, to be strong in you, Lord, and in your might.

Father, thank you for your angels. I summon them in my authority of Jesus Christ and release them to war for me and my household. May they guard me at all times this day. Thank you for those who pray for me; I confess I need their prayers, and I ask you to send forth your Spirit and rouse them, unite them, raising up the full canopy of prayer and intercession for me. I call forth the kingdom of the Lord Jesus Christ this day throughout my home, my family, my life, and my domain. I pray all of this in the name of Jesus Christ, with all glory and honor and thanks to him.

Current Music: Lovesick by Kim Walker :]

Thursday, April 1, 2010

We're at the Top of the World

I am so happy right now. Nothing in my life has changed, except for the fact that I'm taking so much joy in surrendering my life over to Christ. The number of hours I work, the papers I have to write, and the people in my life are all the same, but I just feel so light after this weekend. God has been giving me pictures of hope, comfort, and passionate love lately. I just feel like He is so generous. I just want to be anywhere He is.

I first heard this song by The Juliana Theory when I thought life sucked. I never dreamed that it could describe the way I feel so well. It's not a worship song or anything, but I love the carefree attitude of being surrendered to anything. That's exactly how I feel about life right now. Surrender makes me happy-go-lucky :]

We're at the top of the world, you and I.
We've got alot of time and it sure feels right.
Cause you reached in your pocket
And pulled out a pass, says you can take me anywhere.

Sha la la la sha la la la sha la la la la la la (x3)
Sha la la la sha la la la la la la

We're on the top of the world, here tonight.
We've got alot of time and it sure feels right.
Cause I'm up here running behind you.
I'm up here running in repeat.


Sha la la la sha la la la sha la la la la la la (x4)

Were at the top of the world, you and I.
We've got a lot of time and it sure feels right. cause
you reached in your pocket and pulled out a pass...
You can take me AnywheEeEere

You can take me anywhere (x4)

Sha la la la sha la la la sha la la la la la la (x6)
yeah yeah yeah yeah you can take me anywhere (x4)
Sha la la la, sha la la la la la la

Saturday, March 27, 2010

40 Hours of Pandora in 27 Days.

Mmmmm so life seems incredibly in transition to me right now. Things have seemed so ... set in stone for the next few years up to this point. I know exactly what classes I will be taking from now until graduation, and the Lord is defining new aspects of my calling everyday. But still, life feels incredibly unstructured.

The Present? The next few months consist of things wrapping up. This semester will be over soon. Regular Wednesday night Ignite is coming to a close. Ministry stuff is starting to lull until June-ish. It feels like everything that has provided structure to my life is about to end. The freedom of summer gets closer everyday. I can't wait to have the time to be spontaneous - it seems like a lot of my time comes in measured packages right now. I love what God is doing in my life. I'm finally starting to discover His incredible compassion and grace for my generation. I've been giving a lot of that over to Holy Spirit lately, and I'm starting to feel lighter about it now. That's totally reassuring because Matthew 11:30 does say that His burden is easy and light. I have so much passion that I get in the way of what God is doing through me sometimes. I've finally realized that surrendering is the only way that I can see Him working in all His glory in the situations around me. The days are flying by at light speed. It's totally cliche, but time does fly when you're having fun.

Summer? Yeah, about that, I still don't know what I'm doing. I think that I will be sticking around in June, but July is totally a wash. I have the opportunity to do Project Timothy again - I've been praying about it, and I know that, if I did choose to do it, I would probably be going to Ecuador as an assistant leader on a team. I have to apply by April 15th, so I better decide pretty soon. I'm extensively indecisive. It's ridiculous. My decision varies from one hour to the next. I know that I'll still be interning with Chris O. over the summer, but I still don't know yet what that will look like. If he decides to expect more of me, then I'll probably stay much closer to home. Everything about that is still kind of vague at this point. I've also given some thought to doing summer staff at a Young Life camp. I would love to just love on and impact students for a month straight. I also can't forget how crazy I was about doing a summer internship with DOOR ministries 6 months ago, either. So many possibilities. I seriously need to choose something soon.

Relationships? I seriously love my friends so much. I love eating salad and processing kairoses at Chili's with Madi. I love the wacky sleepovers we have and our nerf gun wars. I love watching stupid videos on Youtube with my best girls. I love randomly quoting Ever After. I love the fact that I can see them almost everyday of the week and not get sick of them. I love them for their J-ness ... lol sometimes. I also love all the new friends I'm making. It seems that I came home from Plunge with like 23 new friends. I'm just so encouraged by the way that God is moving in people my age. For a while, the only people I spent time with were the people that were investing in me, and the students that I invest in on a weekly basis. It's just good to have that balance that I have when I hang out with my peers. I'm falling in love with Young Life all over again. For a while, I wrote it off as that immature thing I used to do. I was so into my role as a leader of "stuff" that I didn't realize how much I needed to have a place to just cut loose and be 20. So, anyways, I'm going to start making Young Life more of a priority. I'm having so much fun in life right now, and I never want it to stop.

And ... boys ... So, for a while, I just didn't have the desire to date. God made it so clear to me that I was supposed to be pursuing Him with everything I had. And I have been - He has radically transformed my heart, given me calling, lavished me with supernatural confidence, and provided me with awesome best friends. This call not to date was inevitably made easier by the fact that none of the guys in my life seemed mature enough, or remotely appealing to me. Well, now that is starting to change. It's not like I'm falling for any guy in particular, but I've just been noticing the flawless work of the Lord in the guys around me. There are instances where I start to think that maybe, just maybe, I should be pursuing a relationship. But, then again, God hasn't clearly told me that I should be dating right now. I love the testimonies of people like Chris and Kelsi, who clearly sought the Lord's will in their relationship from the beginning. I like to think that their testimony of love and fulfilling marriage is the Spirit of prophecy for me. Right now, I'm just trying to stay on track with God. I have this theory that, if I remain true to the person He has created me to be, and sprint towards Him with everything in me, He will point me towards a man who's better than the dashing princes of my dreams. I'll let you know how that works out, K?

Anyways, I'm hanging out with toddlers in the nursery early in the morning tomorrow, so goodnight, lovely people :]

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Urban Plunge 2010




I just got back from a 4 day plunge into inner city Phoenix. I return hopeful for my generation, thoughtful, and full of passion.

The Urban Plunge involved college students from Young Life, CCC, Northwest Community Church, Palm Croft, and Pure Heart. Together, we functioned as the Body of Christ, resisting the temptation to segregate ourselves and taking the opportunity to listen to God's call to us. Together, we removed a covering of weeds to reveal playgrounds and backyards. Together, we painted walls and hopscotch courts. Together, we loved on the kids and families in the Herrera Elementary School community. Together, we planted a healing garden and created a mosaic involving the kids' artwork. Together, we laughed, sang, and danced. Together, we worshiped.


I've been on a lot of other mission trips before, but none that involved this many people from this many places. As I was taking a final look at our mosaic, I realized that the big picture wasn't what made it beautiful - it was all of the broken pieces of pottery. It was in that moment that I realized that the Body of Christ is like a mosaic, intentionally laid out and intricately planned to bring beauty and meaning to the world. We are broken and incomplete when we function out of our own limited authority, however, the Master Artist wants to place us in community with one another and give us the power to function on His behalf.


We studied a chapter from the book of Jonah each day of the Plunge. This was the first time I studied this story outside of a sunday school classroom - I never realized how raw and real this book of the Bible is. Jonah received a powerful call to invest in the Kingdom of God, and even though he tried to ignore it, God refused to give up. In His eyes, there was no one better suited for the job than Jonah. As Christians, God has issued us this same call. Isaiah 61 says:

1-7 The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.
He sent me to
preach good news to the poor,
heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives,
pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to
announce the year of his grace
a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies—
and to comfort all who mourn,
To
care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.
Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness"
planted by God to display his glory.
They'll
rebuild the old ruins,
raise a new city out of the wreckage.

God calls us to function out of the freedom that He has brought us and to pull others out of the wreckage of spiritual, relational, and physical poverty. As former captives to our own selfishness, it is our duty, our CALL from God because the Spirit of the Lord is upon us. There is no one better for the job of living out the Gospel than us.

This experience was amazing for me because it affirmed my call to ministry. The Urban Plunge environment just felt so natural and refreshing to me. As someone called to this, the Lord even gave me opportunities to encourage others to explore their callings in life. I continue to be blown away by this incredible God we serve. I refuse to wait on my world to change, and I will continue to press in for the others of my generation in prayer so that they, too, will experience the power and abundance of serving others in Jesus' name.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Four Little Letters

I'm sitting here finding it difficult to do something right now, so I might as well blog :]

http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html Idealist. I've been so busy that I've had to live my life like a J lately, and that's been really hard. I can't wait to live like a P again. Okay, that's enough Myers-Briggs for now.

My life has been so crazy lately. It feels really good now that I'm starting to get back to semi-normal life. School. Work. Internship. Friends. That, I can handle.

I'm so stoked for Urban Plunge next weekend. There is nothing right now that could be closer to my heart. I'm so excited to be on leadership for this. I've just got to get through this week and and the wedding on Saturday.

I've been having a lot of Kairos moments lately - circular moments when it just feels like time stands still. I've processed some of them in my huddle, but I really just need introvert time. Maybe that's what I'm missing.

A lot of these Kairos moments revolve around:

-Jr. High students
-Callouses on my fingers from playing guitar
-Holy Spirit moments at Open Heaven
-Leading worship with Chris and Kelsi Jo Ozorio
-God's heart for the poor
-Sunday nights at Pure Heart
-Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
-Pandora radio
-Urban Plunge leaders meetings
-Toddy+half & half + chocolate and caramel sauce
-My spazzy laptop
-Self-sufficiency
-Fletcher Library
-New relationships

Hmmmm this is definitely a time of intense growth. I kind of love it.