Ruined

When was the last time something ruined you? What was it like? Did it make you cry? Did you change the way you live?

Jesus is ruining my life.

This isn't one of those apocalyptic conversion stories where I tell you that I used to drink, have tons of sex, and smoke marijuana. If you'd like one of those, stop reading. You're not going to get it here.

This story involves good news so powerful that I can no longer stomach the 'glorious' American Dream, churches more interested in attracting new members than sharing Jesus, or meaningless relationships and empty ritual. The more I read the Bible and understand who Jesus was, the more I know that so many things in our culture are just wrong. Plain wrong.

You might want me to say that the world is getting so bad and that these are signs that the world is going to end or something. If you are expecting me to say that, you will be sorely disappointed.

I think the problem is inside of the church.

When did individual churches become like designer brand names? When did we start ignoring the Kingdom? As far as I'm concerned, we're missing out. Not just missing out, dying. My generation is walking away from the church in droves. Contrary to popular belief, it's not because we don't have an amazing worship band or awesome programs. It's because we've become more obsessed with appealing to seekers, old people, and hipsters than actually submitting to each other in love, surrendering to Holy Spirit, and leading the charge for social justice.

Isn't that what Jesus was about? I was reading about Him in Luke today and I was so challenged by the fact that His mission statement was to proclaim good news to the poor, proclaim freedom for the prisoners, recover sight for the blind, set the oppressed free, and proclaim favor (Luke 4). Can we honestly say that we are doing this, that these passions are in the forefront of our minds, that everything we do is a reflection of Jesus' mission statement?

On behalf of the church, I am truly sorry.

What would the Church look like if we really allowed the suffering of the world to ruin us? After all, it broke God's heart so much that He sent His beloved son to die. What if we were no longer concerned about perfectly planned sermon series and attractive programming? What if our main priority was to love each other and love the world? Wait, isn't that the greatest commandment (Matthew 22)? What if we were less concerned about getting people to church and more concerned about Spirit-led radical life change in the people around us? Wait, isn't that the Great Commission (Matthew 28)? I think it could look something like this:

⁴² They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. ⁴⁴ All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵ They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. ⁴⁶Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. (Acts 2)

I'm throwing out some pretty heavy accusations. So, before you charge me with being a hypocrite, I will be the first to admit that I haven't allowed the Gospel to ruin me the way that it should.

The problem is inside of me.

I'm sorry, world. I'm sorry for being more obsessed with serving the church than loving my neighbor. I'm sorry that I have rationed my love to only people who share my interests, opinion on politics, and lifestyle choices. I'm sorry for spending more time at 4530 W. Thunderbird Rd. than on the streets with people who are hurting. I'm sorry for strategizing ways to grow the church when I should have been hitting my knees in prayer for my city and nation. Most of all, I'm sorry for viewing you, hurting world, through a filter of judgment, rather than compassion.

I refuse to sit on my hands and complain about trivial things while you suffer. I refuse to barricade myself off from you with the walls of the church.

The truth is I'm ruined for you. I'm ruined for you the same way that God's heart was so broken for you that He sent His son to die for you. Your suffering breaks His heart and it's starting to break mine. I want to love you the way He does, the way He pursues you with unlimited compassion. I don't have all the answers, nor do I think I ever will. But I am sincerely trying.

I know that God's heart beats extra fast for you. The more I become like Him, the more mine does too.