"The Shoulds"

Hey all,

Do you ever notice that life is full of shoulds and should/would/could haves? For example, I should be working on a rough draft that's due on Monday. I could have worked on it last night, but didn't. But I'll forget about that for now. There is a ton on my mind. I guess you could say that I have a case of "The Shoulds," that illness that will probably plague us all until we die.

The events of this week have put me on overload. I have found that as I have begun growing in intimacy with Holy Spirit, everything has been going crazy in my life. Somethings have been a good kind of crazy, like having one of my best friends in town for spring break or being presented with amazing new opportunities. Some of this craziness also comes from seeing Holy Spirit begin to move and shake within my church. I feel like the good craziness is a distraction from focusing on what could be happening, but I also feel like it is a push for what should be. Though I'm grateful for the good craziness of this week, there has been a lot of discouraging crazy stuff that has happened as well...

First of all, my parents discovered a pipe leak in our kitchen that has left us without a sink, a dishwasher, or any counters. This drastic "forced kitchen remodel," as I like to call it, has launched us all into confusion and frustration for sure.

If that wasn't enough to deal with this week, I was in a car accident on Wednesday. After eating lunch with my best friend, Emily, I decided to go to a bookstore. I bought 'Ragamuffin Gospel' by Brennan Manning, an amazing book that I didn't know we already owned. Anyways, as I was backing out, someone else was backing out as well. I saw her and stopped, but she wasn't looking and kept right on going. My car is now sporting a nice-sized dent on the right hand corner of the back bumper. It would have seemed that we were both at fault, since we were both backing out. I was terrified and overwhelmed. Fortunately, her insurance took liability since I was stopped. I'm still praising God for this!

Even though this week has been kind of crazy bad, I still feel secure in the fact that God has my back (and my family's). He is so good through everything and I'm grateful for His presence in my life.

And then there is the decision about moving out next year. "To be, or not to be, that is the question." I have the opportunity of moving into an apartment with a few of my friends from younglife. It's an amazing opportunity. Fortunately Holy Spirit has given me peace of heart and mind, though I am truly wrestling with this decision. It is my desire, first and foremost to be faithful with my money, but I also have a strong desire to ditch the parents and live with some people my own age for once. Anyways, I'm still praying for wisdom with this one. I know that if this is what God desires for me, He will provide.