Threshold Season

If you haven't heard of Joseph Campbell, you probably haven't heard of the Heroic Journey. I'll bet you anything that you've lived one, though. So it goes like this: You get called to adventure, you enter the journey by stepping across the threshold, people in your life function as helpers when you face challenges associated with your mission, you face your fears in the belly of the whale, you experience death and rebirth, and you receive a boon, which is basically a reward.

I'm so obsessed with the power of journey and story in my life right now. I recently moved from my old room into what used to be the guest bedroom. Sorting through all my junk was a big part of this move, and while doing so, I uncovered many artifacts of my journey up to this point. I'm so in awe right now of the way that God has been preparing my heart to step over the line and live the adventure that he has for me.

I received a powerful, undeniable call to adventure during the summer when the fire of Holy Spirit made a me a carrier of God's heart for Social Justice. I've been exploring this call for the last 4 months or so, and I feel this incredible urgency to take the next step, to leap over that threshold. In his book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Donald Miller writes, "Here's the thing about telling stories with your life. It's going to sound like a great idea, and you are going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you're not going to want to do it. [...] People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But JOY costs pain." It's time for me to do the work!

This is one of the weirdest, most intense feelings I've ever had. Half of what God is telling me almost doesn't make sense. He's calling me to sacrifice. He's promising blessings. He's giving me an urgent peace. This is just so incredibly odd. As a part of crossing the threshold, I quit my job, because I sensed that God wanted to bless me even more. I've committed to teaching others about God's passion for His people. My life is so unwritten right now, it's crazy,but I wouldn't have it any other way.

This is such a sweet season of life because I'm incredibly humbled by His grace, overwhelmed by what He has called me to, and so motivated to do His work. This is the Threshold Season.

In Morning

I'm not going to lie, the last six weeks of my life have been streaked with darkness. When my car got totaled (2nd time in 3 months), I experienced such a feelings of loss, disappointment, and frustration. In an instant, a collision, my seemingly full and abundant life became hectic and irritating. Essentially, the control I thought I had over my time crashed to the floor, scattering everywhere. All I could do was stand there and watch it unravel in slow motion. I further lost control when the other lady's insurance company gave me a hard time about the settlement. I had to fight with them for almost a month. It was so overwhelming, so out of control. Good thing God brings light, huh?

When I stopped trying to control everything, and gave it up to the fully capable Almighty, Holy Spirit brought me so much delight. I began to find peace in the midst of even the darkest of days. I could be in tears of frustration one moment, and then giddy with Holy Spirit the next. Suddenly being so out of control of my time and my life didn't seem like such a bad thing - it was kind of comforting to know that God was waiting to bless me at every corner of my day. I also gained awareness of miracles. As it turned out, I ended up getting less than my other car was really worth to me, but God multiplied that money like the widow of Zarepath's flour (1 Kings 17:22). After weeks of playing phone tag with the insurance company, God found the perfect car for me. I bought it on Wednesday and still had money left over! How amazing is that? Through this I learned that sometimes God has to take away things in order to give us something better. In my case, I was forced to give up control, but I gained peace over things that I couldn't control. I seriously learned so much and gained so much faith in God.

In the last 6 weeks God has been my:

Provider

Rescuer

Redeemer

Source of Laughter

Comfort

Peace

Energy

Wisdom

Inspiration

Source of Light

There's no denying that this is one of the most difficult things I've come against; but I also can't help but feel like it's sparked a release of something in me. Since Project Timothy, I've been impatient for my future; aware of God's dreams for me. I find myself thinking about the future a lot, but what I'm discovering is that God needs me to start some of these journeys now. I went to a worship "concert" last weekend and I just felt like God was reminding me of his dreams for me during one of the sets. As I sang one of the songs, my heart just lit up and I felt my palms get hot, just like they had during Project Timothy. It was there that God posed this question to me: "Are you willing to put your life on the altar?" I was so convicted, so reminded of the story I am a part of. He wants me to start now. Here. I'm beginning to see why He felt He needed to build my faith - I can't even articulate the plot of this next adventure.

So I will thank Him for the light, and all the new trails it illuminates.

Buh Bye Dream Car

I feel like my world is crashing in on me right now. I know that Joy comes in the morning, but everything feels pitch black.

So, on Wednesday, I was on my way out to Surprise to babysit for my friend Kim. Traffic was great until this guy stopped in the middle of the intersection. For an ambulance going the other direction. On the other side of the median. I stomped on my breaks and came to a dead stop behind him. The lady behind me wasn't able to do that. Her heavy SUV catapulted into my little red car so hard that the little change drawer launched out of its place. The weird thing is that I had a nightmare about being in a car accident that morning. Guess I should have listened to my subconscious.

My car is now totalled. Buh bye dream car. I'm having such a hard time understanding why this happened to me. Seriously, I got to have my car for three months? This is so frustrating. So, in addition to my packed schedule and going out of town for a week, I have to take care of all this car stuff. Now I have paper after paper to sign, visits to the Chiropractor, and car shopping to do. I'm so stinking stressed out.

Pray for a sunrise.

Take it 2 Da Streets

So, last Friday and Saturday, I helped lead a team of Jr. High students on their very first mission trip! I was so excited for them.

We started our trip at 8 a.m. After a short devotional, we headed out to serve at St. Mary's food bank where we packed over 1400 boxes of emergency food supplies for families. Our team was so great! They hardly ever complained. We made a lot of fun memories like OJ Crew and the Can Cheer. It was so cool to get to see them working together. They had joy in it, so, naturally, so did I. We took a break for lunch, and then came back for another shift. This one involved putting together the actual boxes that would be used for the emergency food boxes. Let me tell you, it was hot, the tape was stubborn, and the task was tedious, but we pulled through and worked together.

We left the food bank at around 4 p.m. and headed back to the church. We had a short debrief, passed out fliers for the next day's mobile car wash and did a prayer walk. After that, we went to Starbucks for some energy. The evening's activities included spray painting our own shirts, making dinner together, and playing Sardines.

Our Saturday started at 6:30 a.m. with breakfast and devotions. After that, we busted out into teams for the car wash. My team experienced rejection, gratitude, synergy, and cookies. Though we only washed about 6 cars, it was evident that we were making an impact in our neighborhood.

After this trip, it is entirely evident that this generation is going to change their world. These kids totally rock!

Wall

Can I just say how good God is? Last night and this morning were intense times of spiritual warfare, that's for sure. Let me give you a little background. I often spend time with Holy Spirit by hiking with Him. The mountains that I hike are practically in the middle of the city - you can see the Greater Phoenix Area in its entirety. I like to take advantage of that view to pray over CCC and our community. Last February, during one of these times, I saw Holy Spirit descend like a fog over CCC. It was so freaky and cool at the same time. That experience brought about an awareness that there was a blockage, we were essentially running against a wall.

Last night, I felt spontaneously called by Holy Spirit to go on one of these hikes. It was that time of day where the moon in the night sky was to the left of me and the fuchsia of the setting sun was to the right of me. The day was transitioning into night. It was incredible. Anyways, when I got to the top of the hill, I started to pray. While I was praying, I saw Holy Spirit descend over CCC again. I specifically prayed that barriers would begin to disintegrate in the presence of His Holy Fire.

I know that I'm not the only that has been praying against blockages like this one. There have been a lot of people, actually! I fully believe that God and the enemy alike have been listening to our prayers. I'm incredibly aware that actions like these really anger the enemy. I believe that he is really angry with us. Thanks be to God!

I believe his anger caused him to bring this wall to our attention this morning. It was so evident. The power went out (no air conditioning), major tech problems happened, babies shrieked, powerpoints disappeared, videos didn't work, brunch was cancelled. Everything! That wall was straight-up staring us in the face. Big, and thick, and ugly, and solid!

There was a point in the worship today that the tension caused by the praises and prayers of His people began to break down that wall. There was such a release of Holy Spirit - goodness, mercy, grace, peace. Everything! This wall has begun to disintegrate! And, with the power of God, it will continue!

I found myself wondering why all this happened today. Well, the sermon happened to be about fishing and making new disciples. There were also tons of fish in the congregation - old and new. Amidst all the intended distraction, that message was heard loud and clear by fish and fishermen alike. Hallelujah! What a dangerous message, but the fever has begun to break!

We WILL preach the gospel to our neighbors. We WILL praise Him for His victory over death. We WILL live lives that scream love and grace. We WILL, by the power of God, we WILL!

Project Timothy 2009

I've been back from Project Timothy for a week now. And I've been putting off writing this blog because there is just so much to talk about! Anyways, I'm going to pull sections from the daily journal entries I wrote.

7/9/09

"I'm at Project Timothy right now. Getting here was actually kind of fun. There was like that moment when we merged from the 101 to the I-10 where I realized that the next couple of weeks would be drastically different from anything else. A kind of excitement began to build up ... Like, "This is really happening!" So much of our trip is completely ambiguous to me right now, so it's kind of crazy. I read Hebrews 11 today, which kind of talked about that. Basically, it gave examples of people from the old testament and how faith in God gives us the courage to do His work, even when we might never see the results. It helped me remember that things could get pretty crazy on this trip, but we shouldn't even stop to worry because there is like a 100% chance that God is faithful, and we never should even doubt the fact that anything that happens is His plan. Crazy amazing! I have such a feeling of purpose right now. I think this is because I am praying for confirmation of my future. This is HUGE because my future is also kind of ambiguous at this point. What does God have for me?"

"It is not what [Abel] brought, but rather what he believed." [...] Each one of these people of faith died not having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world!" Hebrews 11:4, 11:13-14

7/10/09

"Today was amazing. I've got to admit that I was a little skeptical of this orientation thing, but right now I'm feeling so fed! That can only mean one thing: we're going to be doing a lot of feeding! We did a lot of team building type stuff today. Some quite serious and some silly. One activity that we did was called Life Line. For it, we picked 5 major events in our lives and shared them with our group. It was the first time that I had ever shared some of the events in my life with anyone not immediately connected to them. It was so crazy. I ended my life line with February 14, 2009, the day that I felt more loved by God than I could ever possibly describe. I came to tears as I finished my list. Not because I was feeling hurt or embarrassed, but because I was feeling so humbled by the recurrence of God's faithfulness in my life. [...] And then tonight happened. During worship (Unchanging, Desert Song, Hosanna, and The Stand) I felt like I was truly on fire with the Holy Spirit - like in Acts 2. Like I can't describe it, I just felt hot but the air around felt cool. I felt so humbled, I just fell to my knees. Most amazing worship experience ever. [...] I think I'm unearthing a huge store of His fruits that I never knew was there. I don't know if I can even describe it in human terms."

7/12/09

"My mind is truly buzzing right now. Part of our week on site is going to be spent with DOOR (Discovering Opportunities for Outreach and Reflection). They are an organization that partners with non-profits in LA. Could that be any more perfect? I don't think so. I'm definitely feeling the strength of God's calling on my life right now."

7/13/09

"Today, we hung out with kids at a day camp. We spent time in a computer lab, game room, and at the pool. I don't know that this was really much of a significant experience for me or my group. What I did get out of it was that the kids we hung out with today had so much joy, even in the midst of less than ideal circumstances. I was really impressed that the Red Cross and Salvation Army could do so much. [...] Tonight, the director of DOOR brought two homeless people to our evening session. We just got to sit and talk with them and listen to their stories. It was amazing! I don't think I'll ever look at homeless people the same way again."

7/14/09

"Today we are going to Union Rescue Mission, on Skid Row. My only idea of what skid row is like comes from a movie called 'The Soloist'. It's about a cello player who ends up on the streets, and much of it takes place in this area of LA. I saw this movie a couple of weeks ago, and it really challenged me. i should have been scared to go to this part of LA, but I'm not. [...] I feel like I'm living so 'in the moment' during this trip. I kind of love it. I'm working in the field of my passion. I really can see myself working at DOOR someday, or some place a lot like it. My calling feels really intense in a lot of ways right now. I'm so stoked! [...] Skid Row was really like I imagined it would be. We had to park kind of far away from the shelter, so we had to walk. The cement wreaked of urine, and we were surrounded by old, dilapidated buildings. I probably saw at least 50 homeless people as we walked from the parking lot to the shelter. While we were there, we helped serve and prepare meals. We worked so hard! It was exhausting.

Tonight, instead of preparing dinner, we were each given a dollar and told to find food. Our team combined our 8 dollars and bought a box of cheerios, bread, peanut butter, and jelly. To even get to that point was so crazy. I definitely saw the crazy side of my team! It was cool, though, because we pulled it together at the end by doing a little panhandling. I can't imagine what it would be like to be homeless and to have to struggle to find food. We ended up eating our dinner on the street with two homeless guys. It was totally a blessing to get to eat with them. This day was so tiring."

7/15/09

"We went to do some tutoring at a charter school. Serena and I worked in an 8th grade math classroom. It was so hard because I don't even remember 8th grade math! It was also difficult because a lot of the kids didn't even want to try. They seemed really discouraged. I got to help another kid write an essay, which was actually right up my alley. We started off slow, but he started to get really excited about it towards the end. It was cool.

We also got to go sight seeing tonight. We walked down Hollywood Boulevard, past the Kodak Theatre, and took the subway to Olvera Street, which is a little mexican marketplace. It seriously reminded me of Mexico. Anyways, we took some awesome pictures and I bought a really cool bag. Pretty darn fantastic."

7/16/09

"This day was nothing like planned. First of all, our car wouldn't even start. So, basically, we were late to our site. We cleaned up the outside of Door of Hope, which is transitional housing for families. Though our morning was extremely productive, I felt like our afternoon was purposeless. I hope we made a difference. When it was time to leave, our car wouldn't start again. The battery was completely dead! We had to wait for a really long time to even get help. It was totally frustrating. On the flip side, God totally provided us with the little things we needed to make it through the afternoon. Amazing. I think that was my biggest God sighting of the day. we also got to worship with the other youth group that is working at DOOR with us. That was incredible as well. I think that I'm encountering God the most in the Body of Christ this week."

7/17/09

"I'm sitting on the roof of The Union Rescue Mission right now. I'm sleeping here tonight. We left DOOR and went on a hike to the Griffith Observatory. It was totally rad! We also said good-bye to the other youth group we'd worked with. It was so totally cool to work with another part of The Body. I mean, we'll probably never see them again, but we can keep in touch. After leaving, we went back to Union, which is where I am right now. That was an experience in itself. When we got there, there was no room in the parking garage, and we were told to go around the back of the building to the parking lot. Well, that lot wasn't open. So we must have circled the same street about five times. We we were so conspicuous. It started to get really crazy. Once we got to the lot and were walking in, things didn't get any better. People yelled at us and looked us up and down. It was obvious that we didn't belong. I got to thinking that this is how the homeless must feel all the time. It was humiliating and humbling at the same time. Our first task was to hand out water to people on the streets. It was so hands on. I think that was my favorite part. It's hard to think that people stay out on the streets all day and might not have water. We saw so many people. We also got to serve dinner tonight. That was so gratifying, especially when people would take the time to thank us. Several of the people seemed almost ungrateful, but there was one lady that went out of her way to show she was thankful. That was such a blessing! I think that made my whole night."

7/18/09

"Last night, we slept on the roof of Union Rescue Mission. It was so cold! I expected to hear a lot of noise on the street from where we slept, but it was surprisingly quiet. During the night, tons of rats flood the street there. That was probably the craziest thing that happened. That and the fireworks that randomly went off. We got up at about 5 a.m. this morning - the sun wasn't even up yet! We served breakfast and helped prepare lunch. That was the end of our work. Serving meals is always really fulfilling because you get to see the immediate result of handing someone a plate of food. I was surprised by how much energy God gave me.

We went sightseeing for the rest of today. We went to the Venice Boardwalk and to Robertson St., which is like a swanky shopping district. We went on a "scavenger hunt" and got so much free stuff!"

7/19/09

"We went to PR's old church today. The service seemed so short compared to ours! After that we went to the beach. It felt so good to just sit and be still. I had a lot of fun and we took a lot of cool pictures. Tomorrow, we head back to Ontario for debrief. I can't believe that this week is already over. I can't wait to hear everyone else's stories."

7/20/09

"It's so weird being back at debrief. I kind of feel like I forgot everyone else in the world existed. Like I'm Truman in The Truman Show. Even still, it's really empowering to hear everyone's stories."

7/21/09

"Today was my last day at Project Timothy. We shared our funny stories during a game of Catastrophe this morning. It was fun to hear all of the stories from the different sites. We also put together our video presentation. It went so smoothly! Like, smoother than it should have. It was awesome. Tonight was like totally amazing. We all shared the stories that impacted our hearts the most. God definitely moved in and through us at our sites this week. There was a real sense of God at work in the room. Project Timothy has been so amazing, and I'm so glad that I went. I can't wait to tell everyone everything that happened to me in the last two weeks."

So there you have it, PT was definitely a life altering experience. Through it, God spoke into my life and showed me more of His passion and His vision. Thanks be to God!

Official Project Timothy Blog

Project Timothy Photos

www.doornetwork.org

www.doorhollywood.blogspot.com

www.invisiblepeople.tv/blog/

Mid-PT

I'm at my Project Timothy Site right now - Hollywood in Los Angeles, CA. Hollywood is such an interesting neighborhood - there are many instances of wealth, but probably even more instances of poverty. Interesting. We are in the computer lab with some of the kids at a program called RED SHIELD, which is a day camp for kids living in LA. Later on this week, we will be serving meals in a shelter on skid row, and working as teachers assistants in a charter school. We also are going to be exploring Hollywood a little bit. And then going to church in Paramount, CA. Can I just say that this is amazing? We will be working with an organization called DOOR for the rest of the week. I'm kind of thinking that I would like to work with DOOR when I grow up. It's kind of like confirmation for the calling on my life. It feels so amazingly right. I love it! Continue to pray for my team and the other teams in Jamaica, Japan, and Texas, as we continue to serve this week. I'll write more when I get back, I promise.